OLD PIRATES NEVER DIE, THEY JUST GET OLD

I was visiting the "Ye 'Olde Drucken Clam Retirement Home" over the holiday, doing a little voluntere work.
Most of the residents are retired pirates, salty dogs, and otherwise ruthless types.
I came across the 2 chaps just about the time I was heading out.
My sources tell me that the guy, on the left busted a move with the dame of the guy on the right.In pirate fashion, the y both "wheeled" themselves back to their rooms, pulled out their swords, and commenced a full fledged, ol time pirate fight.
Everybody was not "fast as lightning, they were just old pirates fighting".
These old geisers didn't even have a name for this behavior.
This is where I stepped in, introduced myself, and named this MOVE the Scooter Store Swashbuck". Now technically & legally you can not perform this move unless you 65 years or older.
After their second "break" for canned oxygen, I grew bored and got outta there. Ya know pirites never did a lot for me, I lost interest rather quickly.
Not like the good old days when the cheated a lot and no rules applied.

SCIENCE MOVE OF THE MONTH

Talk about a "screwed up" business, the medical industry can't seem to decide how to run it's operation (no pun intended).
They are back to the "I'm looking at my chart and I'm too busy to talk to you" move.
Blackbush, whom I'm sure spear-headed this deal, would not return our calls for an interview. Maybe he was looking at a "chart". I do know he was in a drucken stuper from 11-24 to 11-28, per the saved text messages from him I have saved.
Anyhow, back to the main subject, I'm tired of the medical industry toying with us.
I suggest we all fight back and make a stand.
The next time you must go the the hospital, dentist, or podiatrist, as soon as you walk in, in a voice & tone that demands attention, I want you to request the "pat down". If the "Dr." has no idea what you mean, run as fast as you can to the next available Dr.

OLD SCHOOL HIPSTER OF THE MONTH

Another new segment of GOT MOVE!!!
In this new segment, we will be high-lighting an 'Old School Hipster".
What is an "Old School Hipster" you ask?
These are the people that define cool, people that are "sick", they have more hipsterness than you and I could ever imagine having. And the deserve respect.
I'd like to take a moment to introduce our very first Hipster, he is the very first member inducted into the Hipest Hipster Hall of Fame, back in 2002.
It is my pleasure to present my Father, Jim "The Godfather of hip" Chaney.
This cat is so friggin cool, he see's his breath in the middle of August. Before he moved to the Artic Circle, it was a plush rain forest. Look up cool, and you'll find a velvet painting of him, go ahead, google it!! He's so dashing he has been banned from all the night clubs 'cause when he leaves, all the female customers leave with him. This badass Hipster could pick-up more chicks pushing a lawn mower, than we could driving a Bentley!!! He invented the wheel, introduced North America to fire, and won gold in the '72, '76, '80, & '84 Olympics for ice dancing with that stick and ribbon thing. He runs so fast, he received a diamond medal when he shattered the 40 yard dash by simply running to his ice event. He wasn't even competing!!
Men want to be him, women want to be with him, children want to be kicked by him.
He has his own theme song, available on 8-track, cassette, dvd, blu-ray, and recently on beta.
The movie Gladiator is based on his one summer at church band camp. The tv show "shit my dad says" is based on his stint in detention when he was in 5th grade.
His moustache was a stunt double for Ron Jeremy's back in all of his classic movies.
Godfather of Hip, we salute you, and all you've done for the world of cool!!!

'SCIENCE MOVE" OF THE MONTH

In our last "Scienc Move" segment, I revealed the infamous "chart Move", my sources tell me this Move has been retired and replaced by a new Move.
The new Move is called the "Really!?!" Move.
Here's how it is performed:
You just received a call that your son/daughter, mother/father or loved one was in a horrific accident. You rush to the hospital in a panic to find out if they will survived.
You are sent to the "Doctor" i charge, and his ruggedly handsome assistant.
In a frantis, desperate plea, you ask if "so & so" will ever be able to lead a normal life again.
As the "Dr." and assistant push away the fast food lunch on their desk, they group together, as if to console you, and instead, just give you this stare. A stare that says: "Really?!?. You have the balls to interrupt my lunch and break with your voice that quivers like a little bitch? What? You think I do this for the compassion and satisfaction of knowing I'm helping my fellow man?"
They will continue to stare like this,as long as it takes, until you leave, and find some one else that can help you.
Sometimes, they will be in this position, until quitt'in time.
My advice to you, do your own surgery, and reset bones that don't really matter.

HOT PIRATE MOVE

Another Hot Pirate Move installment!!
Prepare to be boarded!! Avast! Pull Me Mast! Me buried treasure is in me pocket.
She ain't Mov'in, but ye can bet your wooden leg I be Mov'in!!!!

BAD MOVE OF THE WEEK

Our "Bad Move Of The Week" is brought to you by none other than me, and it has a bit of a twist this week. Instead of a bad Move, as in what was that idiot thinking, this is a bad Move as in, I wish I could be that cat. That macho dude is the coolest ever. I wish he were my son. He should be a King os something. All of these thoughts would be 100% accurate.
This is what I call the "Horizontal Bop" Move, that has taken years to perfect.
I do cut a mean rug, and have won many dance competitions over the course of my career. I have stated many times that i have "so many moves, I don't even know them all". (see dance afficionado magazine aug. 2006)
I saw a "hack" varation of this while on holiday in the south of France in late 2008, and just knew only I could pull it off.
After years of injury and frustration, I have finally mastered the art of full frontal dance exposure, at it's finest. I can maintain a full 13.7228 seconds of frontal levitational bouyancy skimming, or floating for short.
I generally can attain an altitude, not to be mistaken with elevation, of 22 inches, or 1 foot 10 inches, or 55.9 centimeters for you Canadian folks.
I know what you're thinking, that dude's pretty damn impressive, I can not argue with that!!!

HOT PIRATE MOVE

Pirates be hot, but women pirates be hotter!
Avast ye scurvydogs, this be thee new Hot Pirate Move section.
Feast yer eyes upon these wenches Moves.
I be not caring what move thee be doin, But thar sure is a new sparkle in this seeman's eyes.
Thar she blows!!!!!

"SO CALLED SCIENCE" MOVE OF THE MONTH

This is a new addition to the Got Move Movement. Each month, we will post a "science" move from the world of x-raying. My personal opinion, x-raying is some sort of "mind control" project by the government. The "technicians" who perform the x-raying itself, Gustapo agents looking for a cheap thrill when I remove my clothes.
Pictured here is one of our members, Blackbush. He is "acting" like he is in an intense conversation with the Dr. A conversation that could possible save someone's life. That's the move, and a damn good one at that.
Let's dig deeper for the answwer to this move.
Picture this, A DR. and x-ray "technician", walking thru the corridors of the hospital. As they walk, they are happy as clams, giggling over last weekends sexcapades. When suddenly, a hysterical patrone, seeking out the condition of a loved one approaches the two.
Immediately, the Dr. & x-ray "technician" pull an x-ray out of their ass, and act as though thet are saving the world. The hysterical patrone, who is told to "ssshhhh" by the Dr,. continues on to the next available "non-busy" attendant.
The Dr. & x-ray "technician", like a flipped light switch, continue their "weekend" conversation, exactly where they left off. Never missed a beat.
Works everytime. This is "sweet" perfection, and on one does it better the Blackbush.

STUPID ATTEMPT AT INJUN MOVE WINNER

What we have here is a Stupid Attempt At An Injun Move, by Indians!!!
Sounds a little ironic, don't ya think?
Let me explain. As you can see, Nacoma and Iron Eyes Cody have traveled all the way to Washington D.C.
They have made this journey in an attempt to right the wrongs the white man has done to the Native Americans.
Like that's gonna happen!!
They are holding the treatys their ancestors have signed, yet the American government has not followed. Sound familiar?
Nacoma & Iron Eyes Cody might as well get back in their birch bark canoe, paddle down to the Trail of Tears, jump on their ponys, and high tail it back to the casino that was built on sacred burial grounds. Smoking a peace pipe will certainly ease their pain.
Congrats Nacome & Iron Eyes, your prize of a case of fire water and shiny butt beads is being expressed via stagecoach as we speak.

STUPID ATTEMPT AT INJUN MOVE WINNER

Here is Mr. Hillary Clinton performing a stupid attempt at an Injun Move.
This is one of her many signatures Moves, that she always seems to use at the wrong time.
In this particular photo, she has one hand on the bible, (so we know she's telling the truth)and the other hand is performing the age old "How" Move.
The peculiar thing about this Move is, she's using as she is swearing that she IS a woman!!! Note the laugh on her ugly mug, and one eye is open more than the other. This eye Movement indicates to me that she is winking, in jest that she IS NOT really a woman at all!!
You gotta give her credit though, an Indian Move,the eye Move and the mouth stretching, all in one swoop, a triple move, or the "Ménage à trois Move" of Moves.
I salute you Mr. Hillary, you go girl!?!

MACUSHI INDIAN MOVE

My South American Indian friend Ayita, has sent me a nice photo of himself.
Ayita is a name from the Macushi language, although many believe it means "first dancer", or "first to dance" in Cherokee, this is not true.
It actually means "Don't look at me, I'm naked".
Although he is not producing his signature "Move" in the photo, I decided to show it anyway. Ayita, is PREPARING to execute his signature Move.
He has named his signature Move 'It's Gonna Hurt'.
As you can see, he is doing routine maintenance to his sharp stick, or "spear".
Ayita attaches feathers from local birds that are nearly extinct, by doing this it keeps "vital organs" from globbing up on the pointed end of the "spear".
In a very friendly fashion, Ayita will approach a foe, act as though he is about to merrily greet the foe, and at the last possible second, he jabs the "spear" into the abdominal area, next to the spleen and near the pancreatic arteries.
This always results in a fist full of hilarity, and permanent injury, usually ending in death.
I am proud to say that GOT MOVE has gone international!!!

BAD MOVE OF THE WEEK

This week was a pretty slow week for "Bad Moves", so I had to take matters into my own hands.
My friend Gern Blansten, was expecting an important phone call from the hospital, to find out if his children would survive the school bus accident form the day before.
I was trying to "lighten" his somber mood, so I innocently "polished" the top 4 steps with baby oil.
I then called the house on my cell, and yelled to Gern, "Hey good friend, it's the hospital calling".
As he headed down the stairs at full steam, his feet slid out from under him as though they had a mind of there own. Head-long down he goes!!! What a sight, I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard, maybe it was when his wife punctured her lung in a freak sword swallowing exibition, I'm not sure.
Anyhow, he landed like a fat man doing a bellyflop in a pool full of jello.
He struck the small table at the bottom, toppling the urn containing the remains of his beloved mother, who past away from natural causes when I absent mindedly left her in my idleing car in the garage while I mowed the back yard.
Gern couldn't make it to the phone, he was a bit loopy, so I spoke with the Dr.
The Dr. wouldn't give me any info since I was not "family" I asked the Dr. to talk to Gern's father, who was also in the hospital, with complications due to some sort of flesh wound. Could have happend when I nearly succesfully attempted to pierce an apple with my "scratch built" bow and arrow from atop his bald and liver spotted head, while he was sleeping in his iron lung.
Well, nobody ever called me back. I guess I can find out when I visit Gern in the hospital, if I can ever find the time to go.

THAT JUST HAPPENED!!!

The MCO's recon trip to the hills of Crown King was an eventful one.
I invented a new Move, as you can here, let me explain it's process.
Step 1: Drink some beer
Step 2: Hurry down hill on loose footing.
Step 3: Make sure friends are watching.
Step 4 Milk it for all it's worth.
This move is known as the Lotus Landslide.
Waiting on pics from other members, yea you, will post asap.

UNAUTHORIZED SURVEILENCE

Here you will see the three founding members of the Mover's Coalition Organization. This unauthorized footage was sent to us, anonymously, and we do not know where it came from. Footage was obviously taken secretly, without our knowledge or consent. This just goes to prove that "the man" is onto us, and possibly about to "make a Move". We will do our best to be on our toes, so we can continue to step on everyone else's.

"BUSTING" A MOVE

When is a Move Not a Move?
FYI: When I say it is.
Case in point: I was simply wandering the mean streets of New River one afternoon, and spotted this little waif in a doorway.
Here you can clearly see me, not moving a muscle, yet I'm totally "busting a Move".
When I splash on a little English Leather, wash my feet, and sport my stepping out clothes, it's pretty tough to resist this kind of "presentation".
You're probably wondering if I'm free Saturday night as you read this.
I refer to this Move as the "Mobile Non-Moving Move". Look out!!
As you can see this poor damsel is absolutely helpless under my spell, or "spellbound" as we say in the biz.
I have had years of practice trying to perfect this "Mobile Non-Moving Move", and I could not have done it without the intense training from Flavor Flav's Flavor Of Love Charm School 101. I actually received a "BAD" (bad ass document) upon graduation.
Unfortunatly, Flavor Of Love Charm School has been cancelled, I could be the last of the Mohican's with this move.

GOT MOVE "DEAD POOL"

You know what the "Dead Pool" is - pick celebrities you think will die this year.
If your celebrity dies, which is a very bad Move, you get a point.
The Mover with the most points wins.
Since it's pretty late in the year, You get to pick 4 celebs only, and we'll see what happens.
Here's the catch, your celeb has to have a great move. Not necessarily a signature Move, due to the fact that they play different characters, but a great Move.
Here is my list.
1) Clint Eastwood - "Good 'ol piece of Hickory Move" in Pale Rider.
2) Hal Holbrook - "Falling Asleep" during his Mark Twain 1 man show.
3) Abe Vigoda - his move is "being dead". Since 1982 reports have prononced him dead, but he's still kick'in.
4) George Michael - His "signature" Move is the ability to "drive while passed out". This is one of the more difficult and dangerous Moves out there, please attempt with extreme caution, or not.
Send me your list, alond with the celebs Move, and we'll post it up.
Winner will receive dinner at Blachbush's house, followed by football on tv.

INFLUENCES OF "GOT MOVE"

The Move Coalition Organization has been influenced by many people, places, happenings & events.
Case in point: The late Great Ronnie James Dio, (my second uncle on my stepfather's illigitimate neice's daughter's boyfriend's side) used his signature Move, index & little finger pointed up, that became synonomous with Heavy Metal.
In italy, this Move is used to curse someone, or as an accusation of an unfaithful wife.
In the Domincan Republic, it is used to ward off a curse.
In baseball, it is used to indicate 2 outs.
It is even mentioned in Bram Stocker's Dracula, in chapter 1.
The Beatles Yellow Submarine album cover had John Lennon making the Move above Paul Mcartney's head. This fueled the rumor that "Paul is dead".
In sign language, this move is used to indicate the letter "H", which I have come to believe is no simple coincidance. The letter "H", first letter in Heavy Metal!!!

BAD MOVE OF THE WEEK

Ever made a bad Move? I want to know about it. I want documentation, location, and pictures. Did you get hurt? Did you walk away? The more dangerous, life threatning the move, the better your chances are at winning the 2 hour bomb defusing course "grand prize" we are giving away.
Take a look at Art VanDelay's entry. Not too shab!!!
Art was disco roller fishing on the roof of his apartment in downtown Manhatten, training for the upcoming Special "K" Games, when misfortune rose it's ugly head.
Art's strap-on roller skates belonged to his kid sister, way too small for him, but "I thought, what's the worst that could happen?"
I'll tell you what could happen Art, you could hurt somebody!!
Art plunged from the safety of his roof like an out-of-control Japanese bullet train heading out of Hiroshim in the early morning of August 6, 1945.
He landed with a loud "THWACK" that reminded witness' of a 1960's Batman back kick to the Riddler's upper left corpsuckle tendon area. X-ray it, (my new catch phrase, tm.) you'll see what I'm talking about.
Unfortunatly, no innocent bystanders were injured from the impact.
Art miraculously sufferd only minor injuries to his head, neck, upper limbs, thorax, ajax, abdomen, specimen, Cerebral cortex, Pituitary, and the Musculoskeletal system. Not to mention his Pez dispenser had to be removed from his spleen.
Art should be up-n-at-em as soon as he can learn to quite slobbering all over the place.
Thanks for the entry Art, winner will be chosen January 1, 2011.

STUPID ATTEMPT AT INJUN MOVE WINNER

This weeks winner of the "Stupid Attempt Of An Injun Move" is... Mr. Osama Bin Laden.
This is the only time He will ever be considered a "winner".
I mean just look at his wacky attempt to duplicate the universal "HOW" Move.
Gimme a break!!! Cochise is spinning in his grave, if he has one. I think he was set on fire atop a wooden platform in one of those "devilish" Indian rituals. Hey, they were savages ya know.
Is he trying to say "HOW', or did he just get caught with his hands on someone's pair of clackers?! I really can't tell for sure, but I have a hunch.
And what's up with that beard? Even pirates from the old country had better groomed gonads (reproductive organs) than that wombat on his mug. I don't get it.
Mr. Bin Laden, will receive "The Golden Shower Of Twirling Tomahawks To The Back" trophy.
Send in your entries, there is a winner every week!!!

WE HAVE A WINNER!!

Blackbush has guessed who October's Mover Of The Month is, with very few clues to go by.
The October Mover of the month is...The Fabulous Doug Henning, rest his soul.
Sadly, Doug past away, way to early, on Feburary 7, 2000. Autopsy report "claims" Doug died of liver cancer, yea right! I think the pressure from his extremely flamboyant gayness may have had something to do with it. I know he was married, but that could have just been a front.
Congratulations Blackbush, you are a "bonified" Mover!!

WHO AM I?

Here is something new. I'll give you a few clues, you need to guess who the "Mover Of October" is.
I will post a few new clues as days go by. I warn you, you will have to be good at this, very good.
In my own professional opinion, this Mover is one of the greats.
He inspired me to document my own moves,he was my mentor, and was kind enough to show me where my private parts are,and compared them to his own. Great guy.
First clue: This Mover was born in Winnipeg, on May 3, 1947, and grew up in Oakville, Ontario.
2nd clue: This Mover created moves & effects for for celebrities like Michael Jackson, Earth Wind & Fire.
3rd clue: This mover received a Ph.D Science of Creative Intelligence.
Take a look at this early photo.
THINK YOU KNOW WHO IT COULD BE?
NEW Clues - 9-23-10
4th clue: In the mid 1980s this Mover retired and had an increased interest in Transcendental Meditation.
5th clue: In 1992, this Mover drafted plans for a project called Maharishi Veda Land, near Niagara Falls, Ontario that would "combine astonishing, unique visual and state-of-the-art sensory moves, all in 3D.
6th clue: This Mover's catch phrase was: "Anything the mind can conceive is possible. Nothing is impossible".
More clues tomorrow.

MOVE ON FILM

OK, here's what we got, goin wheel'in this weekend to Crown King, Az.
It will be be a great run with a few cold frosty's going down.
This will be a perfect opportunity to discover, or see some new moves in action.
Now, if a person has had a few too many Fat Tire's, and performs a "slurred" move, this is what we would refer to as a "buffoone" move.
Buffone moves, can be some of the most entertaining moves you will witness.
You do not have necessarily have to be a full time buffoone, but it does "heighten" the Move process.
As you can see from this photo, I have my top people ready at a moments notice to capture any Move of "interest". The "Moves On Film Team" is everywhere!!!
We promise to capture any moves, buffone or classic, that are thrown our way.
Will report back later.

SEPTEMBER 2010 "MOVER" OF THE MONTH

What a great honor to announce our first "Follower Of The Month".
This is a prestiges honor, showcasing the best of the best for each month.
September's Follower is a face you'll all recognize, The Hamburger Helper Hand.
He is the "Godfather of all moves. Everything he does is a "move".
He has more moves than a witness protection participant.
A noted guest speaker on the "Shocker Motivational Tour", he is available for private functions, business seminars, parties, cook-outs. Always looking for work, he is a "jack of all trades", specializing in hand jobs & happy endings.
For booking information, email info@needahand.com
Mr. Hand, we at GOT MOVE salute you.

RULES FOR YOUR MOVE

# 1 All moves can become “stale” over time. It is ok to change your “signature” move, but feel free to pull out your original move from the archives from time to time.

# 2 If you use another movers move, you MUST alert move’s originator that you did so, and the circumstance it was used. Original move must be executed as close to the original as possible. No modifications.
Also, let original mover know the recipients response.

# 3 In case of a limb loss caused during a farming /auto accident, carnival attendance, ninja fight, or parachute not opening, you may submit your move for retirement. Photos of injury, before & after are required for consideration.
# 3A If Dr. lets you keep lost limb, you may must continue to use your original move for 1 full year. It’ll be SWEET!!

# 4 If your move causes an ass beating on a regular basis, you may:
1 Invent a new move
2 submit video of ass beating for our Hall Of Fame
3 Consider yourself a complete numskull, which is punishable by “plank walking”.

# 5 A gang “sign” is not considered a “move”, unless, you are a middle-aged Honky, with no gang affiliation, and you have absolutely no idea what the hell you’re doing. Subject to investigation.

# 6 When among your fellow Movers, and you witness a kick-ass move, it is common courtesy to acknowledge said move. I.E.: Nice Move! Where'd that come from!?! Do it again!!
Under no circumstances do you ever ask if you can use the move. Move originator has the option to convey: “You can use that one later”.

# 7 Movers with Epilepsy, Psychomotor, Myclonic seizures, Grand Mal, or any episodes of abnormal violent and involuntary contraction of the muscle movements, must have a “SAFE” word. As moves get more innovative & complex, bystanders must know if it’s a move, or a life threatening situation that may require a larger audience.

# 8 Never stretch before attempting your move. A pulled muscle, strained back, or dislocated shoulder could open up a whole new can of whoop-ass for innovative moves.

What is "GOT MOVE"?

This blog is dedicated to all of you who have used, and exploited your "signature move".
 You have just entered the "Move Coalition Organization" (MCO).
What's a "signature move? I'll explain.
 Well we all have a "signature move". You may not realize it, but you do have one. Your friends know about it, and they probably make fun of  it, and you, when your not looking.
A signature move is a gesture, or body language you use while talking, telling a story, or just expressing yourself, with or without words.
A raised eyebrow, a shoulder shrug, twirling your hair - these are all signature moves. Some are common, some very rare, some ridiculous, hilarious, even gay.
Everyone has and uses a signature move, a traffic cop puts his hand out to stop you, your parents move the index finger back and forth indicating "NO".
Pirates use the thumb on the neck in a sweeping motion from ear to ear, you know what that means.
The Native Americans, or "Savages", bent their arm at the elbow in an upright position, with a flat hand pointed skyward. This was "How", or hello my pale-faced friend. This was usually followed by the savage being shot dead in his tracks by the white man's "thunder stick".
Costco truck drivers use the middle finger move as the totally understandable - "This is my damn road you fool".
 I applaud everyone who uses their "signature move" with pride and class.
We will be posting our "signature moves' as this blog grows, and as we get more followers.
There are a few rules when it comes to executing your move, or a another "mover's" move.
These rules will be laid out at our very next "Move Coalition Organization (MCO), Meeting", which will be held on our next fishing trip, during the "Blue Moon" phase.
All moves are copyrighted to it's originator (like a photograph), and copyright laws do apply.
 We encourage you to practice and refine your "signature move", video it, and email it to us for our inspection and evaluation. Remember, presentation is very important. Smoothness of move, clarity, obvious interpretation, and hilarity are factors in judging.
Explain the proper time & place your move is used, and it's meaning.
We are waiting on you, "It's Your Move".

Mov'in & Shak'in