PUSSY WHIP MOVE OF THE MONTH

This is a move no one should be proud of.
National television, fist feeding your significant other hot buttered popcorn.
Thank god they weren't snacking on cocktail wienies.
Now you may think this is a sweet, heartfelt MOVE, I call Bullshit on this one.
All I see is a desperate attempt at affection, from a women the media tells us is beautiful. An ugly gutter slut, moving her way up the celebrity "fuck ladder". This Move puts this ugly battle axe on fuck ladder rung #2.

THE "I'M SO ASHAMED OF MYSELF" MOVE.

Hands down, this inaugeral award has to go to our very own GOT MOVE Alumni, Blackbush.
Black bush and I recently competed in a local RC rock crawling event.
There was this little kid there, still in diapers, that was competing.
Now don't get me wrong, I love kids just as much as the next guy, but was this hunk a butter was one ugly mambajamba!!!
Any how, this little kid went one to completly and totally spank Blackbush in the crawling comp.
Blackbush of course does not believe he lost to the niblet, but the scores do not lie.
I on the other hand, went on to dominate the competition, and took home the 8 foot solid gold trophy. I actually had to rent a trailer to get this thing home.
I plan on donating it to the 4 wheel drive hall of fame, next to the booth that is dedicated to me.

OLD PIRATES NEVER DIE, THEY JUST GET OLD

I was visiting the "Ye 'Olde Drucken Clam Retirement Home" over the holiday, doing a little voluntere work.
Most of the residents are retired pirates, salty dogs, and otherwise ruthless types.
I came across the 2 chaps just about the time I was heading out.
My sources tell me that the guy, on the left busted a move with the dame of the guy on the right.In pirate fashion, the y both "wheeled" themselves back to their rooms, pulled out their swords, and commenced a full fledged, ol time pirate fight.
Everybody was not "fast as lightning, they were just old pirates fighting".
These old geisers didn't even have a name for this behavior.
This is where I stepped in, introduced myself, and named this MOVE the Scooter Store Swashbuck". Now technically & legally you can not perform this move unless you 65 years or older.
After their second "break" for canned oxygen, I grew bored and got outta there. Ya know pirites never did a lot for me, I lost interest rather quickly.
Not like the good old days when the cheated a lot and no rules applied.

SCIENCE MOVE OF THE MONTH

Talk about a "screwed up" business, the medical industry can't seem to decide how to run it's operation (no pun intended).
They are back to the "I'm looking at my chart and I'm too busy to talk to you" move.
Blackbush, whom I'm sure spear-headed this deal, would not return our calls for an interview. Maybe he was looking at a "chart". I do know he was in a drucken stuper from 11-24 to 11-28, per the saved text messages from him I have saved.
Anyhow, back to the main subject, I'm tired of the medical industry toying with us.
I suggest we all fight back and make a stand.
The next time you must go the the hospital, dentist, or podiatrist, as soon as you walk in, in a voice & tone that demands attention, I want you to request the "pat down". If the "Dr." has no idea what you mean, run as fast as you can to the next available Dr.

OLD SCHOOL HIPSTER OF THE MONTH

Another new segment of GOT MOVE!!!
In this new segment, we will be high-lighting an 'Old School Hipster".
What is an "Old School Hipster" you ask?
These are the people that define cool, people that are "sick", they have more hipsterness than you and I could ever imagine having. And the deserve respect.
I'd like to take a moment to introduce our very first Hipster, he is the very first member inducted into the Hipest Hipster Hall of Fame, back in 2002.
It is my pleasure to present my Father, Jim "The Godfather of hip" Chaney.
This cat is so friggin cool, he see's his breath in the middle of August. Before he moved to the Artic Circle, it was a plush rain forest. Look up cool, and you'll find a velvet painting of him, go ahead, google it!! He's so dashing he has been banned from all the night clubs 'cause when he leaves, all the female customers leave with him. This badass Hipster could pick-up more chicks pushing a lawn mower, than we could driving a Bentley!!! He invented the wheel, introduced North America to fire, and won gold in the '72, '76, '80, & '84 Olympics for ice dancing with that stick and ribbon thing. He runs so fast, he received a diamond medal when he shattered the 40 yard dash by simply running to his ice event. He wasn't even competing!!
Men want to be him, women want to be with him, children want to be kicked by him.
He has his own theme song, available on 8-track, cassette, dvd, blu-ray, and recently on beta.
The movie Gladiator is based on his one summer at church band camp. The tv show "shit my dad says" is based on his stint in detention when he was in 5th grade.
His moustache was a stunt double for Ron Jeremy's back in all of his classic movies.
Godfather of Hip, we salute you, and all you've done for the world of cool!!!

'SCIENCE MOVE" OF THE MONTH

In our last "Scienc Move" segment, I revealed the infamous "chart Move", my sources tell me this Move has been retired and replaced by a new Move.
The new Move is called the "Really!?!" Move.
Here's how it is performed:
You just received a call that your son/daughter, mother/father or loved one was in a horrific accident. You rush to the hospital in a panic to find out if they will survived.
You are sent to the "Doctor" i charge, and his ruggedly handsome assistant.
In a frantis, desperate plea, you ask if "so & so" will ever be able to lead a normal life again.
As the "Dr." and assistant push away the fast food lunch on their desk, they group together, as if to console you, and instead, just give you this stare. A stare that says: "Really?!?. You have the balls to interrupt my lunch and break with your voice that quivers like a little bitch? What? You think I do this for the compassion and satisfaction of knowing I'm helping my fellow man?"
They will continue to stare like this,as long as it takes, until you leave, and find some one else that can help you.
Sometimes, they will be in this position, until quitt'in time.
My advice to you, do your own surgery, and reset bones that don't really matter.

HOT PIRATE MOVE

Another Hot Pirate Move installment!!
Prepare to be boarded!! Avast! Pull Me Mast! Me buried treasure is in me pocket.
She ain't Mov'in, but ye can bet your wooden leg I be Mov'in!!!!